“As far as opening lines go, “Good evening ladies and gentlemen. You like my trumpet? It’s a sound heard around the world” isn’t half bad.
Unfortunately, that’s where Kathleen Tonn’s recent testimony to the Anchorage, Alaska city counsel starts to go south, and fast.
“Since one of my brethren introduced the King James Bible, since I represent the Lord Jesus Christ the great I am, I’m going to add to your public document and your public record from the public document of the great I am,” Tonn announces.
She was there to speak her mind on a proposed ordinance that would prohibit discrimination against any person based on sexual orientation or gender identity in employment, public accommodations and housing. It’s safe to assume Tonn, a former Republican candidate herself, is squarely against such an ordinance.
And if you thought her Bible introduction sounded a bit wacky, strap in for the rest of the ride:
“Starting with, oh my — a tampon,” she says, pulling one from between the pages of her Bible. “Reminds me that little girls in pubescence get periods — female girls.”
Next she angrily bellows out some passages from the Second Epistle of Peter, aka God’s destructive judgment of Sodom and Gomorrah.
Finally she gets to the point:
“Now, since you want to create some ordinance to avoid discrimination for members of our community who engage in, I perceive, unhealthy, ungodly behavior, you might want to consider creating an ordinance for one who speaks in tongues.”
But before she can keep going, the assembly chairman informs her that her time is up. Bet he was watching the second hand on that stopwatch like a hawk….”