Pat Mesiti talks tough on domestic violence abusers


“I really believe that violence is a weak man trying to express himself forcibly.

He’s weak in character, he’s weak in judgement, he’s weak in social skills and he has no other way to express himself but through this” – Pat Mesiti


Flashback – Pat Mesiti interview published May 12, 2015


Pat Mesiti:Good afternoon Barry, thanks for having us on the program.

Interview host:Can you describe some of the first-hand effects that you’ve seen as a result of violence towards women?

Mesiti:Look, one of the  first-hand evidences that I’ve seen is obviously a break-down in family.  I think one of the second things is terrorised children. And thirdly is the total batteredness of a woman. I think these are three incredibly tragic things in our society now is coping with .. and look .. I’ve seen that first-hand even in my own life, having been brought up in a house where there was a lot of domestic violence. It’s absolutely like living with a terrorist really.

Host:Are we seeing more of it now or is it just a problem that’s always been there that’s just more evident now?

Mesiti:Look, I think it’s a problem that’s always been there but of course, today, I think our culture Barry is becoming more and more de-sensitised unfortunately and values that we held dear to are no longer important. I mean, values like respect for a fellow human being. It seems everything, when we look around our culture today is a de-sensitisation in it. Obviously media, games and the whole yobbo mentality, especially in our culture is really bringing these things or escalating them. I mean, they’ve always been there but there seems to be an escalation of it in my opinion in these days.

Host:My guest, Pat Mesiti, mindset expert and troubled youth counsellor at Teen Challenge. Are we getting any closer to getting at what is at the base to the anger that is driving this violence against women?

Mesiti:It’s almost like, how long is a piece of string? Sometimes it’s not even anger, it’s just guys, they could lose a football game, or on a day like the Melbourne Cup.  I know we celebrate Melbourne Cup and all these things but, I mean, for example in New Zealand, the domestic violence situation when the rugby match .. the All Blacks when they lose ..  ridiculous .. it’s out of control. And, of course, you can’t ban sporting games, but you’ve got to teach people basically respect another human being. And also, alcohol, drugs, these things just don’t help the situation at all. And again, we’re not telling people to have a drink, or that, but when it comes to drugs I believe we should have a zero-tolerance policy, but for goodness sake, get yourself under control. I really believe that violence is a weak man trying to express himself forcibly. He’s weak in character, he’s weak in judgement, he’s weak in social skills and he has no other way to express himself but through this. And I’ll cite him. Toughening up some of the laws. I just have a situation myself right now, a lady who’s been terrorised by someone, by a male in her life. She’s had to leave town and the courts did absolutely nothing. Nothing. Even though photographic evidence showed the violence, they did not a thing. They let him go.

Host:Where do you begin if you’re trying to change someone’s behaviour who is violent? Where do you begin?

Mesiti:I think firstly if you want to change someone’s behaviour they need to acknowledge their behaviour is wrong. That’s the first thing. It’s their responsibility. Same when I worked with kids on drugs. If they didn’t think what they were doing was destroying them, they would never get help. So they’ve got to acknowledge it. I think secondly, what we’ve got to do is really learn to penalise these things stronger. I’ll give you an example. Just a little example between us New South Wales and Queensland people. When Paul Gallen threw that punch at Nate Myles there was an uproar.  Consequently, if you throw a first punch, you get sent off. How many guys have thrown a punch and been sent off since then? Hardly any.  A push and shove, but they know, ‘I break that rule, I’m sent off and I’m gonna be dealt with’. Today the courts don’t do that and so they’re not protecting women, they’re not protecting children, they’re protecting offenders. And I think that has to be there to be a deterrent.

Host:So what’s the solution? Jail more offenders?

Mesiti:Well, I certainly think it wouldn’t … I don’t know whether it’s a matter of jailing them but there can be fines, there can be punishment. There’s a whole bunch of things we could do. Secondly, I think people with help, need to be reported and made to go and get help. You know, go and get help. The courts should force them to get help. Otherwise, you’re a ticking time bomb. I think that’s a second thing we could do. Force them to get help.  And report these incidents as soon as they happen. Unfortunately, women are secretive by nature and so they hold things close to their heart. And so they suffer in silence. It’s important to report these incidences and the offenders.

Host:Let’s hope something gets done. Pat Mesiti, we’ll leave you there. Thank you for chatting with us.

Mesiti:Thanks so much.



17 thoughts on “Pat Mesiti talks tough on domestic violence abusers

  1. Lots of “tough” talk around here.

    Greg do you prayer swear? Eg ending a prayer “in the name of Jesus fucking Christ”. I’d go to your church if you swore and cracked obscene jokes. For a short while then I’d get bored.


  2. Greg, you said you weren’t going to talk to me!
    So why address me now? Weird.
    Second you said you weren’t going to talk to me because I insulted you and you just insulted me …?!? For the 100th time.

    Third, I’m not self-righteous. I don’t think I’m righteous at all . For the record, I am not righteous., I am not a great Christian. I’m no doubt not even a Christian – just like you said.

    You’re the one who calls people twats when you’re not calling then worse. One day you say you live me because I post something you agree with, later you swear and say in not a Christian.

    Fine, I don’t claim to be a Christian. You are the great Christian, and you said you weren’t going to talk to me. Fine. I addressed my comment to the gnat guy.

    Chill out. I’m no Christian.
    But – I just hate bullies and like to give it back.

    Best thing for a bulky is to just hit them.
    And you are the classic bulky.
    A fat bald tattooed guy who swears his head off and insults and wants to dictate what churches, Christian schools believe and teach.

    But call you fat and you start crying and telling someone they aren’t a follower of Christ! ?
    Your just the school bully who throws your weight around and hits and insults and when you get insulted back you start crying and saying it’s not fair.

    So keep your promise and don’t talk to me.
    Fine I won’t talk to you.
    I’m not a Christian or a follower of Christi and you’re a righteous Anglican.

    I’m the unrighteous non-follower of Christ.
    No don’t answer that! Lol
    You don’t want to converse. Fine with me! Lol


  3. this is certainly far from a christian site – anyone would be hard pressed to find any claim for it to be such in any of its threads.

    i certainly don’t come here for its christian content or conversation. i stay on Facebook for that.

    thanks for the encouragement gnat choker, you have it over me as you obviously know who I am, but I do not have he same honour to know who you are. I apologise for not looking past your reference to cancer being funny, and for not seeing straight away you were serapes about your loss.

    Q, you’re a self righteous git.


  4. Farewell Gnat. You seemed like a great guy.
    Hope you find a good place to chat.

    Yes, this is the place where you can say someone died of cancer and people think you might be joking.

    I find that hard to understand too. I think a lot of people on these kinds of sites have varying levels of autism. It explains the obsessions they have.



  5. @Greg The news about Pat. The anti-C3/Hillsong/Charismatic bloggers will be milking this for years.

    @David My boyfriend? He tricked me?

    @Gnat. Sorry to hear that. Puts everything in perspective eh.


  6. True news but you dont know me.
    Anyhow. Good luck with the permangliculture in the north. I am going to hunt down a christian blog site to chat on.


  7. Gents. Got terrible news today. My friend’s wife in Wollongong died after a long battle with breast cancer. I found out 17hrs after her brother posted on FB.

    Only mentioned it because cancer is funnier than the jokes and put downs on this blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pat’s background in fundy penty Christianity may blind him to insight into domestic violence. After all, the Christian foundational garden of Eden myth blames original sin on women. The trinity is exclusively male in character (if God is our father, who is our mother?). The bible is thoroughly misogynistic, requiring very sophisticated theology to argue otherwise.

    The sooner we relegate these ideas to the museum of anachronistic beliefs the better for victims of domestic violence.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. How can anyone be even just plain joyed at news of domestic violence. This is a tragedy for all parties involved.

    And Q we realise you are not gay but your boyfriend is.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I would say the schedenfreude churchwatchers at “she’s a witch. Burn her.” Central.

    Greg, are you Mark Driscoll?


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